holaaa 2014

holaaa

it's been a while I don't post my corny notes, one of my best friend remind me to post and write something in my blog . 
I used to corny post when I'm in love or when I'm in despair and worse in broken heartened mode. don't know how I'm so good at 
curhatan hati seorang kekasih yg ditinggal pergi * lalumatibunuhdiri #translateThat

but this time I don't want post anything related to my something called bored...

Love relationShit

I just want to share some moment I passed with some great life mates I had .. u can called them my friend .. my best friend .. my soulmate .. friend of  mine .. or anything
After last may 2012 janji dan salim sama dewa zeus 
ga akan bikin travelwish or things to do ..
aku berkhianat pada dewaku .. 
last time I check *bongkarfotopesbuk

Movember 2012 * ingkar janji pertamaku 

early Jan 2013 I've checkin in Bukit Bintang *ingkar janji keduaku

february 2013 I've catch sunrise and sunset at Cambodia  *ingkar janji ketigaku

 

April 2013 I'm catching school headmaster sign at titiwangsa KL & lost at bukit jalil *ingkar janji kesekian kalix

Movember 2013 I've  *mulai ga bisa pegang janji

KL is my second home town *udah kek tkw yg pulang lebaran ke indo setelah kerja ngumpulin duit setahunan .. 
ke KL setelah jadi TKW dan ngumpulin duit setahunan di balikpapan.

And Start Now 2014 .. aku mulai beteman sama

 Dewa Poseidon 

beach .. sea breeze .. sunburn.. snorkel gear *is my new favorite things 

sunburn can heal even takes time *bacaLamaaabetuul

but see heaven on the sea is a soul changing

many moment create .. many laughter capture .. lots of love spread

 Even I break promises on thing for sure

I'll never quit being a traveler

THE FACT IS ...

Secretly everyone is an admirer of themself

but NOT me

I'm your secret admirer

Dear WAWA

I never want interfere or ruin someone's life..

I know I can't turn back times or erased for what happen

I've been on your shoes before .. I know exactly how u feel
that's why all I said to u is true ..

maybe it's hard for u to believe ..

no more hate please .. u always said  lets talk as woman .. we have our talked
and we reach a decision where I no longer stay and GIVE UP

so pleasee stop all the text all the call all the email showing up and try to make me understand
what you both have .. I do understand ,, stop all those things its only made me hurts ..



I'm merely human and had my jealousy .. U can have him wawa



GOD KNOW WHAT HAPPEN HOPES HE CAN OPEN UR EYES AND SEE WHAT THE REAL THING HAPPEN HERE

I JUST GIVE UP

Don't mess with my life anymore .. I had ENOUGH

I reached a point in my life where I no longer necessary for me to questioning or wondering where are you now and your story .. when I said 

I give Up ,... I mean it 

I'm good I'm one in million .. and I'm not an option .. just move on with ur life .

and tell you fucking fiance to stop bothering me .. 

I just had a nightmare and I need to wake up .. need to Move On 

life is about walking forward right ? not backward ..

these hand no longer hold my hand

Sometimes I wonder where you are now? what you are doing? 
There are so many questions swirling around in my mind, begging to be answered

like an elephant sitting on my chest .. hurt to the bone ... that's how I describe how I felt cos

"missing u" 

I don't have to remember all the big felling u make me.. all the small little things about U really made me to have a crush on U.
the way u smile when u look at me ,, 
the way u dance and sing to ur song while u were drivin ...
the way u scratch ur head and eyes when you too tired but don't want to sleep .. 
the cheering sound when ur fav team score a goal ..
the foot rub u do when we watching soccer in the couch together .. 
the patient u have when u r on the urge and I can't do anything about it...
I like when u said how sexy I'm when I wake up in the morning..
I like how u spoiled me with the breakfast in bed ..
I like how u bring me some water for bath.. 
I like to watch u dress up everyday ... 
I like to see u busy with the groceries and be a chef for dinner ... 
see ....
I have so many little things I loved... found in U.. 
do not need special day to describe how I miss and love u in my way .. 
do not wedding ring or vow to be always with U .. Ur kindness is more than enough 
I warned U before stop being so nice and stop makes me fall for U if ur not intended to catch me falling 
but u keep doin it and makes me fall deeper .

I used to like every little things u have 
I used to love every moment we shared

I do care about U ... love U in my own way ..

happy Valentine my papabear

happy fucklentine megatron.

ANOTHER WOUND

Wanna posted  2012 year in review but realize nothing much biggest moment from this past year 
besides meeting U papabear...

2012 .. I fall .. I Raise.. fall again , I do make mistake I lived tru it for the rest of my life.. 
there's no regret , there's nothing to early 
always believe everything happen for a reason.. 
if meeting u is another way to have another breaking heart and lived through it ..so be it ...

I just don't get it why this happen again.. supposed to be I skip my karma long time ago. I never hurt everyone but why I always end up to be the one who got hurt.

I've learned to put myself back together in this past 3 years .. should I take another 3 years to wash away this pain.. Yes I'm pain now .. its no longer like an elephant sit on my chest but hundreds elephants step on my heart...

 posted this thing only gonna makes me change again to stupidest girl on earth .. but it's a wake up call

I just said everything happen for a reason .. and the Qoutes I just got from my beloved , dearest friend /soulmate/or whatever I named u ...

 " he won his price " 

just like see a light in the end of a tunnel ...

now its getting harder ,,

Relationship are harder now because 
conversations become texting
arguments became phone calls
feeling became status updates 

and missing becomes unanswered calls ,,,

IS HARDER THAN IT LOOKS