pengong....

got confused the way people think..


few days ago ... I had a nite out with some fren,,, we hit one of a club in town and having some fun time...
n becoz I easily forget about sumthing
I freeze that moment with my cam ...
I took some picture than nite n upload it on my pesbuk account...
I've done that just for fun... cos I took some hilarious moment that nite...


damn.. it just a prank...

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG BOUT THOSE PIC??

turn out not everybody happy with that...

what's wrong if we had a little fun??? is

DUGEM

... A sin ???

do they had a right to call us a SINNER .... if we do that... ???


f*** them ..

PROVE ME IF I'M WRONG ..... BUT NOT ALL OF PEOPLE WHO Love THAT WORLD IS A SINNER

WE WERE JUST HAVING FUN.... IS NOT LIKE WERE DOING MISTAKE FOR THE REST OF OUR LIFE

is it wrong if i fell upset bout this.... ?? they just don't get this the way i want it...

sunday

its sunday ....had nothing to do

just chillin out .. had no idea what to do

people who has touched my life

Life is like a book u can write anything on it , u’r experience , u’r sadness ,u’r happiness

it’s your call wat u want 2 write

all the bitter things I've through this lately , n all the nice moment I've had & all the people who’s resposible for it.. he..3x

in life u will meet & have sumone who’s not just became sum1 who fill your page but sum1 who really meant sumthing 2 u

I had sum of them

let’s start with “my 2 guys” chen” & neo

they were my guys , my friends for life, they both are the most magnificent people I adore , they both help me through my highschool life .. they were the cured when i'm in pain.. chen2 will always had his own way to make me smile...

( the most valuable time in my whole life ) they both teach me how to get along.

& we've been frend 4 almost 13 years till now ( it’s quite long rite??) & u know ! “they never change” they were still the same person from the fisrt time i knew them.

” al”

I love this guys ,, he’s not just became my best frend, but also a brother & a soulmate 4 me ..

he’s the first guy who show me the world , teach me to appreciate life & he’s the one who made me comfortable with my self

I'm just merely humans & sumtime I'm trying too hard 2b sum1 else , but he’s the one who show mE , there’s nothing wrong 2b

” JUST ME”

he’s the fist guy who teach me “what love is” , even till now i really dunno wat the hell is that………….

” onyon “

wow there’s so much page bout him in my life bout this guy .

he’s the most deceitfull person i ever know

he came to my life , took everything i had , then left without notice . he’s the one who succed turn me out 2b the stupied girl in this whole world

I wasted my youthfull life with him , & i feel sorry 4 that ..

but the positive thing is i know how strong i could be , I know how’s 2 handle all the hearts breaks all these time

I love u

apa sih yg mesti aku lakukan untuk membuktikannya

kalo aku kasih kmu hatiku dah semua isinya ...

would that be enough?

would you be understand ?

i'll gave it all.. but it's empty now...

got a shut in a heart

do you know why i hate march so much.........

becoz march always bring up a bad memoir for me .. n it's all becoz of him

march is his besday..march is our anniversary..
march is the time I become a real woman for the first time..
march is propose moment...aaarrrggh..... to much **that's why march alwys sentimental 4 me...( rasa mual ..!!!)

I made promise to myself I'll get over this , becoz i believe I was stronger..

I WISH I'm Stronger
I WISH I can Move ON
I WISH I'm never fall for onyon

I wish I can move ahead just like u did .... leave our past

I wish there's a big button tag " RESET" for my heart and

I wish I can delete U.. just like u erased me from ur life

I did.. i do move ... i think...but I think twice cos what happen few days ago..

Wake up early one morning ,,
dengan semangat membuncah.. went to my office ... just like usual .. gave my work mates a big close up smile n say haloo.... " slamat pagi all"....
( berharap senyum ini meresap kedlam hati)

n then,, goes the conversation

them= mba dian ,, dah denger gosip belum,...
( biasa klo bis weekend,, sharing gosip yg update dari mslh century smpe manohara,,, )
me= gosip paan nee?
them=soal onyon!
me=s*** belum tuh ,, knp? ( nda urus mode on) tp g tw fake pa ga.... ??
them=onyon cuti lho skrg ada dsini..
me= oh ya dah tau..
them= tau juga ga,, klo dia cuti ke makasar.. pergi ma calon istrix,, ( they even mention her name)
me=oh ya udah tau,, dah cerita dia (**dlem hati "mang ada ??? dia cerita ??) amnesia kale aku ya...kapan ?? siapa lagi cwe itu??"
them= iya mba ktx mreka mw nikah lho
me= baguslah.. akhirx... ( ** di dalem... asal ga sm si Dia ) gpp lah...
them=mang ga ngom sm mba dian kah..?
me= ga tuh ... lagian LIKE I CARE" PWIKIRKANKAH"

back to my seat,,, turn on my compi,,, buka email.. turn out I shed a tears.... damn... it's still hurt....
that early conversation really ruin my whole days................

had to find the cure,, but dont know how ,, who can help me... shit.. i must be crazy that time... i've known that i'm ready for shit things like that ,, But the fact is,,,, I'm HURT....

i hurt badly enough .. to regret everything again..n.. again...
dont want to go home ... i need sumthing to distract my thought bout those word...
even an expensive spa treatment wont heal me that time....

finally i decide to sent him some text...
" maaf telat but ..happy besday" wish u have all best in live ( hope im one of it,, ) ..text sent

sms diterima........
" maksih dee " boleh aq telp aku kangen denger suaramu.. ( damn..........)

" telp aja "............text sent

my phone rings..... take a deep breathe... it his number..
haloo............n then the conversation goes like all of the phone call we always did,,, we talk.. we laugh...

n then the call ends....

just feel like a thousand stone lifted from my chest...

LEGA.... n then ,, the tears inside my heart stop.....

bingung.......... kaya yoyo hatiku.. one second.. it's breaking ..next minute.. I'm Totally fine


thats why .. i keep questioning...

bungul..bungul....di botein lagi sm lelex.... hahaha................

klo dah gini jd kangen "mas al"

he must have the right word to say to help me found my path...

just another satnite

gosh....

almost done on the march things ..........

BUT STILL THOSE STUPID FEELING STAYS THERE ........

spent another sat nite without the GUYS

.. no laughter , no mocking ... rasa damai.. hahaha



nope .. actually I miss them ... ( whispering mode on ) dont want them to hear it...

just like this sat nite ... NOTHING to DO...

sat nite malah update software...hahaha...



but still remvove those felling for a moment

good soundtrack for this nite must be

" happy "

You make me happy, whether you know it or not
We should be happy, that's what I said from the start
I am so happy
Knowin' you are the one that I want for the rest of my days
For the rest of my days, yo all of my days
You're lookin' so cool, you're lookin' so fly
I cant deny that when I'm starin' you down and dead in the eye
I wanna try to be the person you want the person you need
It's hard to conceive that somebody like you could be with someone like me
I'm happy knowin' that you are mine
The grass is greener on the other side
The more I think the more I wish that we could lay here for hours and just reminisce
On the good, the bad, the ugly
The smiles, the laughs, the funny
Oh, the things we put each other through

here's come the march

I start march with a bad line ..
i have a lot of words in my head but i just can't write it right.
March always sentimental for me...

I hate march too much ..
makes me want to sleep n not waking up at all ... over this stupid month..

The air...the sound..keep remind me

..bout him...

Listening the wind.. Passing by the road i passed.. Those laughter....those back..those warm fellin....

March is more like a trigger for me to keep tracing those tiny little thing that kept in my super small cell in my head..

Called

^moment^

Time should be erased everything ... But the time has betrayed me...
I must find a gun n a big bullet now for killing ^moment^ like this....

Call me stupid...

Call me lebay...

But march will alwys be too ^sentimentil^ 4 me....