Sometimes I wonder where you are now? what you are doing? 
There are so many questions swirling around in my mind, begging to be answered

like an elephant sitting on my chest .. hurt to the bone ... that's how I describe how I felt cos

"missing u" 

I don't have to remember all the big felling u make me.. all the small little things about U really made me to have a crush on U.
the way u smile when u look at me ,, 
the way u dance and sing to ur song while u were drivin ...
the way u scratch ur head and eyes when you too tired but don't want to sleep .. 
the cheering sound when ur fav team score a goal ..
the foot rub u do when we watching soccer in the couch together .. 
the patient u have when u r on the urge and I can't do anything about it...
I like when u said how sexy I'm when I wake up in the morning..
I like how u spoiled me with the breakfast in bed ..
I like how u bring me some water for bath.. 
I like to watch u dress up everyday ... 
I like to see u busy with the groceries and be a chef for dinner ... 
see ....
I have so many little things I loved... found in U.. 
do not need special day to describe how I miss and love u in my way .. 
do not wedding ring or vow to be always with U .. Ur kindness is more than enough 
I warned U before stop being so nice and stop makes me fall for U if ur not intended to catch me falling 
but u keep doin it and makes me fall deeper .

I used to like every little things u have 
I used to love every moment we shared

I do care about U ... love U in my own way ..

happy Valentine my papabear

happy fucklentine megatron.

ANOTHER WOUND

Wanna posted  2012 year in review but realize nothing much biggest moment from this past year 
besides meeting U papabear...

2012 .. I fall .. I Raise.. fall again , I do make mistake I lived tru it for the rest of my life.. 
there's no regret , there's nothing to early 
always believe everything happen for a reason.. 
if meeting u is another way to have another breaking heart and lived through it ..so be it ...

I just don't get it why this happen again.. supposed to be I skip my karma long time ago. I never hurt everyone but why I always end up to be the one who got hurt.

I've learned to put myself back together in this past 3 years .. should I take another 3 years to wash away this pain.. Yes I'm pain now .. its no longer like an elephant sit on my chest but hundreds elephants step on my heart...

 posted this thing only gonna makes me change again to stupidest girl on earth .. but it's a wake up call

I just said everything happen for a reason .. and the Qoutes I just got from my beloved , dearest friend /soulmate/or whatever I named u ...

 " he won his price " 

just like see a light in the end of a tunnel ...

now its getting harder ,,

Relationship are harder now because 
conversations become texting
arguments became phone calls
feeling became status updates 

and missing becomes unanswered calls ,,,

IS HARDER THAN IT LOOKS